June 2012
5 tags
at my mom’s 50th surprise birthday party I met my 54 year old uncle for the first time and he was standing beside a girl obviously in her 20’s so I said hey I guess you’re my cousin then right? and she said no I’m his girlfriend. I guess I really rocked the cradle on that one..
3 tags
I can smell bullshit from a mile away, but it’s so much harder to detect when it’s around you all day.
May 2012
5 tags
“beer is no drink for a lady”
shut up and just grab me a damn beer, you cunt.
